Life, by its very nature, entails rejection. Even the most beautiful and powerful among us are not immune from it. Princess Diana, Abraham Lincoln, John McCain, Jennifer Aniston and everyone voted off Survivor has suffered rejection’s sting. At least the vast majority of us can be grateful that millions didn’t watch our rejection on TV or read about it in the tabloids!
I’m single and dating. Now there’s a land ripe for rejection! Who hasn’t heard, and said, "You’re a great person, but…" Unfortunately, rejection isn’t limited to dating. It happens with jobs, friends, clubs, athletics, colleges…
One thing I know. If you’re out there taking chances, you’re going to suffer rejection. Those who try to totally avoid rejection never leave home, and that’s a diagnosable illness! The truth is, the more chances we take, the more we open ourselves up to the pain of rejection. But, as Radames sings in Aida, "Fortune favors the bold!" Where would we be if Christopher Columbus had stayed home, or Lincoln hadn’t chosen to run for president, despite having lost almost every other election he’d ever attempted? Unwilling to live lives of quiet desperation or mediocrity, those who achieve great things regularly risk rejection.
When rejection inevitably comes our way, we have three choices:
1). Shutoff our hopes, dreams and feelings. Many make this devastating decision in an attempt to stop the pain. I understand why-- rejection feels terrible and appears to confirm our deepest fears as it whispers we’re not worth fighting for or good enough! The problem with shutting off our hopes, dreams and feelings is that it limits our ability to live. Furthermore, it prevents us from growing, achieving and eventually acquiring the very things we desire!
2). Learn from it. Sometimes rejection occurs for a valid reason. Healthy individuals search to see if changes are in order and act accordingly. At the same time, rejection isn’t always about you! Others approach the world from their own needs and brokenness--maybe their mom dropped them on their head. Perhaps they’ve had bad experiences in the past. Who knows, you may even look like their second grade teacher! Or, just maybe, someone else is a better fit. Regardless of how it may feel, rejection isn’t always personal!
3). Choose to view it as protection. Looking back on my life, I clearly see God’s hand of protection through many of the rejections I’ve experienced—especially when I was unwilling to protect myself. Beyond greater pain and potential disaster being adverted, in the long run I’ve often received something far better. Like in Garth Brooks’ "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers…"
Ultimately, each of us is responsible for growing and for taking the steps and risks to achieve our dreams. If you want to meet Prince Charming, you can’t spend your life in front of your television. Nor will you land the job of your dreams if you never let people know you’re looking.
While we can’t control rejection, the choice to learn, grow and move forward is always ours. If you’ve closed your heart, ask God to heal it. Go to a counselor if you can’t get over things on your own. I personally owe a great deal to counselors—it’s amazing how helpful a well-trained, objective third party can be! Lastly, realize that while painful, rejection isn’t fatal. Get out there, take appropriate chances and remember-- "To the riskers go the spoils!"
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Daring To Dream: The Audacity of Scotland's Susan Boyle
The world has embraced YouTube’s brightest new star and Britain’s Got Talent participant, Susan Boyle. In just a few short days, she's received over 16 million hits of her extraordinary performance. That’s an amazing feat.
Why has she captured our hearts? She’s talented, as good as any performer I’ve ever seen. But many talented individuals never capture the imagination of the world. Nor do they gain the admiration of Simon Cowell. Seriously, she left him grinning like a man in love.
Here’s why we love her. She’s a bit awkward and without pretense. How many people would admit on international television that they’re 47 and have never been kissed? While she’s blessed with the voice of an angel, she’s certainly doesn’t fit the music and entertainment industry standard of stunning attractiveness. We love her because, in addition to being incredibly talented, she’s real. She didn't hide her dream, her nervousness, her talent and ultimately her joy.
I see her, and I see a bit of me. My dreams, my fears, my joy, the fact that I don't meet industry standards of physical perfection either. Seeing Susan, real as she is, reassures me that even in these tough times, I don’t have to be perfect to have my dreams come true. Neither do you. What a relief.
What can we learn from Susan Boyle about accomplishing our dreams?
1)Accomplishing a dream takes great courage. Susan put herself out there, risking ridicule because she believed in herself and the talent she possessed.
2)Dreams don’t happen in a vacuum. No one sings like that without a lot of practice. She didn’t dream about singing, waiting for her day to arrive. She put in countless hours practicing and was ready when the door of opportunity opened.
3)She believed in herself. With certainty, yet completely lacking arrogance, she proclaimed, “I’m going to make that audience rock.”
4)Susan Boyle owned the stage. Watch her body language as she steps toward her dream. Everything about her walk said, “Pay attention world, I’m here.” Accomplishing a dream means commanding attention. Confident body language cues the world to pay attention.
5)Doors don’t open automatically. When asked why she hadn’t accomplished her goal of being a professional singer, she replied, “I’ve never been given the chance before.” Some dreams take a long time to come to fruition. Susan never gave up her dream of singing in front of a large audience and when she had the chance, she seized it.
6)While the world can be cruel, it embraces people with talent who take risks and go for the gold. On the flip side, those who make fools of themselves are ridiculed and the rest of us are abhorred that no one has told them the truth about their ability along the way. Either that, or they haven’t been willing to hear truth when it was offered. Those who accomplish their dreams know the truth about their ability.
Susan Boyle’s story is a modern day fairytale at a time when we most need to believe that extraordinary things can happen, and the real reason she’s captured our hearts is because she invites each and every one of us to pursue our dreams as well. Thank you, Susan Boyle, for reminding us that dreams really do come true.
Why has she captured our hearts? She’s talented, as good as any performer I’ve ever seen. But many talented individuals never capture the imagination of the world. Nor do they gain the admiration of Simon Cowell. Seriously, she left him grinning like a man in love.
Here’s why we love her. She’s a bit awkward and without pretense. How many people would admit on international television that they’re 47 and have never been kissed? While she’s blessed with the voice of an angel, she’s certainly doesn’t fit the music and entertainment industry standard of stunning attractiveness. We love her because, in addition to being incredibly talented, she’s real. She didn't hide her dream, her nervousness, her talent and ultimately her joy.
I see her, and I see a bit of me. My dreams, my fears, my joy, the fact that I don't meet industry standards of physical perfection either. Seeing Susan, real as she is, reassures me that even in these tough times, I don’t have to be perfect to have my dreams come true. Neither do you. What a relief.
What can we learn from Susan Boyle about accomplishing our dreams?
1)Accomplishing a dream takes great courage. Susan put herself out there, risking ridicule because she believed in herself and the talent she possessed.
2)Dreams don’t happen in a vacuum. No one sings like that without a lot of practice. She didn’t dream about singing, waiting for her day to arrive. She put in countless hours practicing and was ready when the door of opportunity opened.
3)She believed in herself. With certainty, yet completely lacking arrogance, she proclaimed, “I’m going to make that audience rock.”
4)Susan Boyle owned the stage. Watch her body language as she steps toward her dream. Everything about her walk said, “Pay attention world, I’m here.” Accomplishing a dream means commanding attention. Confident body language cues the world to pay attention.
5)Doors don’t open automatically. When asked why she hadn’t accomplished her goal of being a professional singer, she replied, “I’ve never been given the chance before.” Some dreams take a long time to come to fruition. Susan never gave up her dream of singing in front of a large audience and when she had the chance, she seized it.
6)While the world can be cruel, it embraces people with talent who take risks and go for the gold. On the flip side, those who make fools of themselves are ridiculed and the rest of us are abhorred that no one has told them the truth about their ability along the way. Either that, or they haven’t been willing to hear truth when it was offered. Those who accomplish their dreams know the truth about their ability.
Susan Boyle’s story is a modern day fairytale at a time when we most need to believe that extraordinary things can happen, and the real reason she’s captured our hearts is because she invites each and every one of us to pursue our dreams as well. Thank you, Susan Boyle, for reminding us that dreams really do come true.
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